I’m not really going to write about my hair. That would be stupid. However, this whole plan of growing out my hair was part of something. I assume you could call it an identity crisis. It was easy to see, I mean, I do advertise my mind in a little section of notes on facebook and other venues of the interwebs. There was a lot of darkness. So much that I couldn’t see. Not saying that I have some clear sight of anything now, but at least now I seem to be content with the surprise of life. Maybe that’s just because life has been good, or maybe it because of something else.
I don’t know, I suppose I’m just as lost as ever. The whole world seems to be standing before me and just sit and wonder what do with it. At times I can be master of my domain and at others I feel helpless, unable to make any kind of decision that will lead me to that ultimate happiness which I have babble so long about wanting. Is there such a thing? And if there is, can I have it?
But after all the trials and woes I had placed upon myself, I think that I finally have found that I like myself a lot more than I ever reveal. Not perfect because Satan only knows how many flaws exist within my mind and soul, but at the same time I can’t help but feel a bit proud of the boyish man that I have become. He’s alright is what I’m trying to say.
But now what to do? In an hour, eight months of struggling to find myself by emulating ten years of John Lennon hair styles will all be gone. I’m gonna miss it, but it was worth it. It’s the little things, I suppose. But there are also big things. Big things that have to be considered because as far as any of us know, they may lead to that ultimate happiness scam we’ve all be sold so sweetly by those who have come before us. I don’t even know what might get me there. Success? Money? Friends? Drugs? Booze? Love? What is love? Have you ever been in love? Do you ever want to get married?
“No marriage without love, Watson.”
“Then why not love Holmes?”
“Absurd, Watson, absurd! I am not for love, nor love for me. It would disturb my reason, unbalance my faculties. Love is like a flaw in the crystal, sand in the clockwork, iron near the magnet. No, no, I have other work in the world.”