Another titled post? What say you? Yay or nay?
Well this, as all things seem to be, is not a democracy. Unless of course you’re the person writing this, which unless you are I, you are not. If you were I, then I would understand even further that the illusion of such a state is so nicely made that its guise is nearly invisible. I only believe in the control, for now. Whether it could actually ever be had is up to me, if such a thing is even possible.
I tend to spend my time having conversations with myself about purely hypothetical things. My summer as a bachelor hermit is drawing to a close however. The masses will begin to fall back into place and the machinery will begin to wind and grind and carry on. I will not really be taking place in all of that, while being directly in the center of it. This will also be the last summer of my school boy days.
Now I know you’re asking you’re asking yourself ‘Brian, what in the hell are you talking about?’
Excellent question! Although, the answer will only be a very short bit at the end of all of this, or so I imagine. Or really observe, in my particular brand of poorly imitated style and grace of minds of unbearable greatness.
Almost 60,000 fish died in Iowa yesterday because a river reached something like 97 degrees. I’m sure the smell festered in the hot, stagnant air. It smelt like death, I imagine.
An earthquake in Iran killed something like 300 hundred and shook up thousands more. I understand that was a terribly insensitive pun. I refuse to strike it from the record just the same.
A man in China had his penis stolen in the middle of the night. He said that he didn’t feel anything as the robbers cut it off.
It could be worse for me. I could be in Greece where unemployment for those of my generation, or nearly my generation, is at 54%. It was 41% last year.
Tunisa now has a goddamn anti-blasphemy law now. Christ, people are getting screwed like Mary Magdalene all over the place.
The price of bacon is expected to rise exponentially, as if life weren’t becoming bad enough.
Why list a few of the top stories that I found on the web? Well, I can give you a few reasons, although I can guarantee that almost none of them are true.
The first reason is perspective. Although I see and am aware of many of the terrible things that humans do to each other, I am fortunate enough be free from almost all of these woes. For now.
I was born a white male in the middle class of the US of A, which may have been the last true decade of that class of people. Not the white part, the middle part. I was raised sternly and god fearing, in addition to being expected to solve many of my own life’s quandaries in confidence that my parents would help me learn to do the impossible. I was taught to think for myself through methods of invoked performance and encouragement.
It was because of this ability to think for myself at a moderately young age, that I made it through my public schooling in what may have been the last age of fairly decent public education. I was in the school band, but they were always trying to cut the arts out as far as I can remember.
I made it relatively unnoticed through my early years, and then I started to get more frequent erections which can only lead to more madness in a young man. The fact that I didn’t get laid until 18 explains the development of any peculiar behavior. If I got laid sooner, I might not have been such a strange bird and then we might not be here. I also could have saved on the cost of tissues.
The second lie disguised as reason is hope. This of course, is possibly the grandest lie ever conceived. It is belief in the extremely unlikely based upon the farce understanding that the existence that is hoping for such a thing, is so fucking special that the whole universe consciously changes direction to fulfill a request. This, as you should already know, is horse shit.
I have spent a lot of time hoping for things to happen. I would sit and wait until that very near impossible event would occur, just because I felt that it had to. Sometimes things that I hope for do happen, but it’s just like being decent a gambling. You know how to estimate the likeliness of something occurring. It’s only a guess and I have been wrong. I’ve been waiting for years for something to happen and I will only continue to wait. Until I forget, which is still some time away but in the meantime, we’ll have another round garcon.
Hope is for suckers. So I’ve not been able to stop being at least partly a sucker, but I have taken a few things into my own hands. Soon there will be no time left to sit around and hope. My life of luxury is passing and my work will scream and call that I pay it all of my heart and soul. I will and maybe something great shall be done.
If there is one thing that I continue to hope for besides forgotten youthful feelings to be reborn, is that I and all others can be free. We are not. And if you think you are free, you are just dumb. We are all oppressed, almost all of the time. The proof of this is within yourselves and your lives. Are you going to rise everyday for the rest of your life to pursue and matter that interests you?
If you are like me, you can’t. You need money to get things and resources and time and status. Money is speech and the only key to freedom. The problem is, once you start to get enough to take control, you do just that. We are greedy because we are stupid. We are stupid, because a few well off people got greedy. Money is power, for now.
My hope and it is very much a fool’s hope, is that I can participate somehow in the creation of a truly free world. A world that grows and learns from and for each other and people live full and happy and meaningful lives. Every being will explore the depths of consciousness and become part of the whole.
This marks the end of the last summer of my life within educational institutions. I have learned much and yet nothing. I have learned that hope is for suckers and I hope and hope and hope just the same. I still hope for the same thing that I know is gone. That’s why I get up every morning. Not because I think today will be the day it comes to be, but for all the other things that I need to do while I’m waiting.