It’s warm out for April. The streets are quite besides a few sirens off in the distance. People can be heard in their houses as her steps echo silently through the streets. They sound heavier to her than they really are. Everything seems a little heavier. She walks alone down the block, arms folded, head down, dreaming awake. She feels the heaviness of her heart, all weighed down with desire, as she aimlessly carries on.
Dreams are a scary thing. Dreams can make you feel so distant sometimes, especially when they’re grand ones. The world never seems to work the way it should, something’s always there, holding you back, or slowing you down. Maybe people are designed to never be truly happy, but we all get that taste sometimes. But if you’re a young girl with big dreams, it seems hard to find that little glimpse, especially this one girl in particular.
Her friends were all partying, have a good time, but she felt off. She would laugh with them, smile, and tell a few jokes, but just enough so she wouldn’t show her heart to everyone. She doesn’t like to wear how she feels on her sleeve. I think a few people could tell she was down, but didn’t want to pry. She left early, said her goodbyes, and walked out the door. I wish she knew how beautiful she looked with the moon shining on her face, lighting up those eyes of hers, but she starts her lonely walk. She asks herself a lot of questions, always looking for some sort of answer, even when she knows there’s none to be found. You’ve got to understand, she’s in a bit of a rough spot. Very much caught in the purgatory in between stages of life, carrying all the hopes she had made up to this point, and trying to get them to the other side. You know, all that jazz about being yourself, and never giving up, and love; the works. She won’t let go of them either, not this girl.
Maybe that’s what he likes about her, but this isn’t about him. This is about her, walking away from something she’s not even sure is chasing her, thinking so loudly she can’t hear what her heart is singing to her, because that’s where all the answers are. Her heart has been crying them out for awhile now, and I think she’s been hearing a little bit of the tune. She pulls her red coat tighter around her body, and picks up her pace. She doesn’t really want to go home, because she knows it’s all coming with her there, and then she’ll be alone with it. Her footsteps start to slow, and her head starts to lift. She feels something, it’s a strange feeling that can’t really be compared too much besides the feeling you get when the way the sun lights up the clouds just right to make the sky bleed. It’s starts to grow and her mind dwells on the few memories she can reach that have some sort of emotional significance. She tries to reason with it, throwing some chains around it, hoping it’ll sink back down, but it’s no use.
Her feet stop moving. Her muscles relax as that troubled head of hers starts to lift. The arms let go of each other, as everything suddenly gets screamingly silent. Her heart beat feels like the start of a song as she imagines her life is being played out on screen. Then she looks at the sky lets out a pent up sigh. She hears the things people have told her in her head, as her heart sings melodies far beyond what ears can even hear. She smiles more real than any picture could show. She just gazes at the moon, and starts to walk again, this time lighter though, with a little bit of skip. She is overwhelmed with the feeling that everything might just be alright.
The song starts, the screen goes dark, and the credits roll. He fills his lungs from his cigarette, as he picks the remote of the couch. Click. Screen goes dark, the room gets quite. He hears the groan of the refrigerator. Sitting up, the blood in his previously stagnant body moves around, making him light headed. He places his feet on the cold wooden floor and slowly lifts his body up. He begins to walk away from the T.V. with the girl inside. He makes his way down towards the hall and places his hand on the switch… but before the turns of the only light left on, he looks at himself in the mirror. He can’t even recognize himself. His heart wants her. The light goes off. The floor creaks further down the hall until the door lets out a small screech. Silent for a moment. Footsteps. Door closes.