Sunday Morning Thoughts 5.13.12

And so begins my last summer off from school. Over a fifth of century later I am supposed to be wiser and more capable than I have ever been. Of course the feeling of such things is not present but I have come to learn that feelings and those sort of things may often be deceiving. Then again, I suppose that there is deception in all things.

I have watched the last class graduate from my school and it will be the last one that I watch. My legacy at school will have one more year to build and after that it’s on to the largest stage I have. No longer with the little scholar societies be my place of play but instead the dark, dreary world where no one wants to be seen laughing to much will be where I work. I will have financial concerns and value concerns and after all this I still haven’t had a girlfriend for any real period of time. It’s strange how we decide to measure ourselves in relationships and wealth and accomplishment. All of those can be easily inflated and dressed up to appear more than they are. Even character is disguised but eventually the mask will be seen as separate from the face. I’m sure there are some masks that can hardly be seen as what they are, even by he who wears it. I wonder if that’s the case here. It very well could be.

So with all my whining and sadness that I have been breeding all myself for so long now, I’ve decided to take action. I’ve had enough with unfulfilled desires so I will just have to let go of desire. I need to just be for awhile so if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go do that now.

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