Sunday Morning Thoughts 3.18.12-3.25.12: Part II

So walks a sort of man down a sort of path that was made for him by him because there seems to be no other way to get around this whole issue that likes to hide its face from being seen. The annoyance has reached a level where I can only seem to be come passive about life and feeling like the color grey must because everyone seems to pin this whole drowsy kind of feeling on it. It’s not fair in the slightest but has that ever stopped anything from happening. How can you tell someone that though? How can you tell some that it’s worth trying in this life when there is always such a great chance of something not working or nothing working at all? It’s terrible and it’s why I like my coffee bitter.

It’s difficult but it doesn’t make it any less necessary to get done. It’s probably makes it more necessary. I couldn’t ask for help and I guess that’s only really pride which may also be necessary but for less valid reasons. This is something thing that has to be done by the individual which only has the benefit of producing less casualties. I had more thoughts on what to write earlier but they must have walked off and gotten lost on me.

I could sit here and sing you sad songs all day but where would that get me? It would get me to be lucky enough to spend the rest of eternity at this self created purgatory and doesn’t that sound like fun, does it? I’m starting to believe it is boredom. I’ve grown too weary from being too comfortable for much longer than I should and I believe that my mind and soul are telling me that I need to get out and away very soon or there may be an implosion of my very being which would be less than spectacular. The time grows near for me to shed this phase of my life and go on to the next which only naturally scares the crap out of me but in that sense so has every other phase in life. I once thought going to junior high school was going to be this terrifying thing. High school too. There is a chance that this may be vastly different, but part of me imagines it won’t be. I’ve made it this far already so what’s a few more decades?

I’m sick of being in the present trying to imagine what the future holds. I want to be in the future and have to be filled in on what’s going on now. The world out there is brewing to some sort of catalyst. We stand on a ledge and need to immediately learn how to fly because the fall from here would most likely kill us. I don’t mean to sound so dreary but there’s no reason to remain ignorant to the crime that runs rampant through our world today. And I don’t mean purse snatching crime, I mean the big stuff like wars and freedom and revolutions.

I’m tired of watching us wallow in our inadequacies. I’m sick of seeing grown men hit on girls by being annoying and making fun of them like they were pulling hair on the bus. I’m sick of people being ignorant and enjoying having no idea of anything that actually goes on around them. I’m going to change this. This school. This life. This world and if I have the time, this universe. Existence is our toy, children. Play on.


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