What’s up 4am? It’s been a while. It’s been a while since it’s just been you and I, just chatting away. So let’s chat 4am.
I had all of these thoughts all day and now that I’m here they seem t have slipped away, of course. It’s just a condition. I try to forget one thing and in the process forget everything else. Don’t think of a blue elephant. See what I mean? But for real, you are my blue elephant. A blue elephant that wants nothing to do with me, but so be it. Choices are made without me and that is just that. Either way there are things and doing them should be an option or priority or something like that. Swept under the rugs, my dream sit and collect dust… and mold. Hahahaha… yeah about that. I still have to pack my stuff to move.
I don’t know if situations just find me, or if I unconsciously seek them out. I assume it’s both. I don’t exactly dodge anything with all that much effort and you can toss resolving it right out the fucking window. I don’t think I’m going to fail science though and that’s good.
I wrote jokes today. I wrote jokes yesterday too. I should tell them to someone. I should tell them to strangers. Strangers will hate someone who is not funny. It’s scary but people you don’t know are not forgiving. Then again, so are people you do know. Some people you know don’t even give a shit about you. To some people, you’re just a piece in their game. Then again, you’re just a piece in mine. A blue elephant, if you will.
I wasn’t drunk enough to talk about existence tonight. I don’t know if I’ll be drunk enough tomorrow either. I imagine I won’t be. Still my destiny awaits me. Just this for now and maybe some more when I have something to say.