I should be learning my lines, but I’m not. I should be doing homework, but I’m not. My room is a mess, but I’m not there. I slept through my 11am class twice this week. I seem to be doing a whole lot of nothing these days. I did add my first girlfriend as a friend on Facebook yesterday and she accepted it. Look at me go. She was my first kiss and yes I still remember it. I think I fucked up though because she is gorgeous now, as I thought she was when I was 15. I’m not 15 anymore though and that was a long time ago.
I hate how I’m stuck at this desk. I can’t work at a desk for the rest of my life. If I did, I doubt my life would be very long but who knows, the global economy could collapse and we could all become hunters and gatherers again. And when I say all, I don’t mean everyone on the planet because let’s be honest, most people couldn’t survive on their own. Most people can’t move out of their parents’ house, let alone be able to survive in a vicious environment that has no forgiveness or mercy. I even doubt that I would be able to make it through. I hope that I would.
I actually wonder about that a lot, as strange as that seems to most people. If our society and civilization fell apart, what would I do? I like to think that I would stay in New Rochelle for awhile and make the building I live in a sort of fortress. I would block off the entrances to the courtyard and make some sort of gate to the building. I live on the top floor so there’s some natural defense there. I could scope things out on the roof and I suppose I would eat squirrels or anything I could salvage from the abandoned super-markets. I don’t imagine I’d have any way of getting in contact with my parents, unless I find some long wave radios or something like that. I would have to invade the library too because once the internet goes, I could make myself the king of knowledge with all of those books.
I would probably have to arm myself too. And I’m not really in that good of shape either, so I would have to work on that. Actually, I should be working on that now because if it happens I don’t think I’ll be as ready as would like to think. It’s survival of the fittest and that is not I.
But these are just some of the things I think about. I don’t have a smart phone, so I guess this is the consequence of that. It’s weird that I can do so much in my fantasy and yet do very little in my real world. I know, I know, none of this could actually be real, but it is what my senses say is, so I should at least play that. Oh well, I’ve killed enough time. I guess I’ll go back and learn my lines.