Long Sweaters with Reindeer – I

When I was about seven years old, and for a year or two before and after that, I hosted a radio show. It was on the bus. It was made up. It was myself and my closest friend at the time. His name was Kurt.

Shit symbolism. But to make the point, I pretended everyday that I was doing what I go to school for now. So why is it that I don’t do more of that stuff that little shit kid called Brian thought was cool? Insanity I know, but it did not prevent it from happening. Yet even the consideration of this prolongs it further. There is almost always a breaking point for these types of things.

So the list. That was the next step, so we shall commence. First on the list… hold on. I should think about this. I have to be able to follow through with the first thing on the list, or else I’ll have no courage to try again. So what should be done first? I suppose and kind of trust that whatever I want to do the most, should be up top.

So what is it that I want to do?

Thought about it. Tell jokes. I should tell some jokes. Maybe get out in the real world and come up with some material. Maybe nurture it into some sort of higher status. Anyway necessary or possible or both will do. So I’ll go to an open mic. So I’ll bomb, I might get a few laughs. Even if I just babble. It has to be real babble though, not anything force. I have to get comfort with that stage. I have to know the feeling, or at least stronger than this. I need to get out and that’s how I’m going to do it. That’s how I’m going to vent. It’s pathetic. It’s beautiful. It’s all I ever dreamed of and such.

The next, and I feel is just as vitally important, is this act. I shall speak no more of it now because I can always talk about it later.

I’ve been acting, but I’m thinking it won’t kill me to maybe memorize my lines. Ya know, since this thing is coming up fast? I don’t doubt I’ll do it, but it may not kill me to be more on top of this. I wouldn’t mind having it as a job one day.

But dig for a moment, I’m tired. Keep tuned.

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