For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wondered what the end of the world would actually be like. I was raised to believe that God would come and save those who should be saved and destroy those sinful little ingrates who just couldn’t keep their hands of each other until they got married or ate a few grapes from the grocery store without paying but I don’t know how accurate that is. Not saying that there isn’t a God or gods, but I don’t think there is and even if there was, I would assume that he gave up on caring about us about the same time we stopped caring about what we were doing. I would imagine he wouldn’t even waste his time in destroying us, especially since we’ve been doing such a superb job of doing that ourselves now and ultimately for the entire history of us sad little homo sapiens.
But then how would the end come? Nuclear war? Drought? Famine? Will the sun explode or will we suffocate on our own toxin fumes? Will it be instant and worldwide or will it be slow and gradually bring this species to an end? Will some disease infect all of us, kill some and turn the others into flesh hungry zombies? Will all of our banks and institutions suddenly fail from things we were too blind and willingly ignorant to see and have our cities and towns fall into violent anarchy?
So all of this happens and then I wonder what I would do. Obviously if the sun explodes or there is some sort of global wipeout from atomic radiation, I would just die like the rest of you, but what if I had some time to kill? If you’ll excuse the pun, my mind would like to wander for a bit and think about what I would do with my remaining time on this rock if I knew it was more limited than I had originally planned it to be. What would I think? What would I feel? Would I think about a girl and try and spend my last moments being romantic and poetic or would I just light up a cigarette and watch it all burn while I laugh to myself and yell “You fools! How could you not see this coming?”
Still, we are only fools and only fools would wonder about such things. Surely the end can’t be near because I have so much life left in me. And besides, wouldn’t we see it coming? Wouldn’t the world give us the signs? The news has always been pretty bad but maybe we should have been taking that a little more seriously. Maybe we should have seen all the decay and how all the things we have were designed to be doomed to fail. Maybe we should have realized the price for how we lived and the price for all the hate that we’ve mongered. Maybe we should have seen how we lost all those rights that we talked so much about. Maybe we should have seen the veil in front of our eyes. Maybe we should have actually read a history book and figured out that we have a habit of doing terrible things to each other that only lead to more terrible things. Maybe we should have, but we didn’t.