I’m for only a few days, but being able to get a full night’s rest was worth it. I feel good, better than I have in months in fact. I’m hoping to keep this up.
I wonder a lot about how far I’ve come from this time last year. I wonder how much I’ve grown and what I’ve learned and I suppose it’s been a lot. I know that I’ve come a long way and done a lot of things on my own terms. I feel a boost in confidence in myself. It’s easy to forget and undermine the things I’ve done but I have filled my life with a tremendous amount of success. To start, I got the job as RA. I never really doubted I would but it’s nice to know that people see me as a person who is a leader and is able to not only handle myself, but also able to help others. And that’s all I’ve ever really wanted in my life. I’d like to be happy myself and make all those around me just as happy, if not happier. Plus it’s nice to know that I’m doing my part to help pay for my education because it’s fucking expensive. Money’s tight in my house so any bit I can save for my parents is a good thing. It’s going to be one hell of a year next year. It will be stressful and will without a doubt push my limits, but I’ve always been better when I work myself as much as I can.
On top of that, and personally much more gratifying, I have marched in my first two parades with the best damn pipe band on the planet. I’ve done so good that they’re letting me march on Thursday in the greatest St. Patrick’s Day parade on the planet. That’s right, New York motherfucking City. I can’t wait. I am beyond excited and it’s great to feel like part of the band. Sure I’m the newbie, but I’m doing a hell of a job getting adjusted. There are some great new people in my life and they’ve already made me feel more than welcome. And of course, as I did last year, I’m doing the Bay Ridge trip. I haven’t been down to Brooklyn since New Year’s so it’s going to great to see everyone down there again. My home away from home. It’s the place that I feel as though I should have been my entire life, but due to circumstances far beyond my control, I haven’t been. Still it’s good to feel accepted by so many people because honestly, it makes it easier to accept myself.
And so it goes. I’m going to keep this short because my mind it at this level of peace that it hasn’t been in a very long time, so I’d like to keep it that way. I have silenced many of the questions that usually scream in my head and it’s nice to just listen to the birds chirp in the trees. Oh my enlightened being, it’s nice to feel this way. Let’s keep it going and maybe make it better. I think I’ve earned it.